My favorite PXY Rochester Radio station (with Scottie, Sandy and Moose) had their phones lighting up this morning with parents desperate to know how to deal with the temper tantrums and disrespect from theirs kids. So grateful for the opportunity to share.
Below are some of the discipline basics.
Kelly Nault’s Discipline Do’s include:
1. Always use discipline that is related to the behavior you are trying to change.
i.e. Taking away their PlayStation when they have forgotten to clear the dinner table doesn’t relate but not having bedtime stories until the dishes are completely clean does.
2. Deliver any discipline in a calm and kind manner.
Remember our kids watch what we do far more than they will ever listen to what we say. Therefore, stay away from having your own temper tantrums. 😉
3. Follow through.
Do what you are say you are going to do! Why? Because if your threats are empty then you are only teaching your child that your word is no better than dirt.
Kelly Nault’s Discipline Don’ts include:
1. Don’t cave and give in to your child’s demands!
If you give in to your child you are only sentencing yourself to more temper tantrums in the future as you are teaching them that being disrespectful is a powerful tool to get their way.
2. Don’t give chances.
Giving many chances only teaches our kids to NOT listen to us the first time.
3. Don’t yell or fly off the handle.
When your child is pushing every button you have (even some that you didn’t know you had!) it can be difficult to keep our cool and yet, this is essential to solving the problem. If your adrenalin is pumping consider using a parent time-out–in which you take time to cool down so you can deal with your child in a calm and positive manner.
Most parents use forms of punishment to make their children pay for their mistakes. Parents often also believe that a child must feel bad. Unfortunately, this approach generally motivates children to learn how to not get caught next time–not learn how to do better next time. Harsh punishment that is not related to the misbehavior can also leave children with a bad taste in their mouth declaring that it “just isn’t fair!” When kids feel hard done by they will often lash out and hurt their parents back which sets up an unhealthy cycle of revenge.
Stop the parenting insanity!
If you learn how to use discipline in a way that brings out the best in both you and your child you can experience more quality time together, greater moments as a proud parent and (sigh) more peace in your home.